#14 -Mary Fry Willis, wife of Isaac Hicks. Middle Name to the Rescue!

Mary Fry Willis (1817-1898), wife of Isaac Hicks.  Happiness is Finding A Middle Name

I love middle names: My brother’s middle name is “Bancroft” it was once a surname (family) name. As a surname, helps in genealogy so middle names can help--if you’re lucky.  I would urge caution, middle names can also muddle things.
 

Mary Fry Willis - D of John Willis & Mary W Kirby
Mary Fry Willis was named after her ancestor Mary Fry, and was born on 14 January  1817  in Westbury, Long Island, NY (Jericho Meeting).  She was the daughter of John Willis and Mary W Kirby. 

Mary Fry Willis married Isaac Hicks (found in another post) in Westbury, New York. 

Which Willis? Which Mary?

I looked through naming patterns (first names) and then at the Quakers on Long Island who intermarried. I began to despair when rather running into a genealogical brick wall, I was dealing with a profusion of possibilities. 

Mary Fry Willis’ Middle Name To the Rescue
I took advantage of Mary Willis’ middle name “Fry” beginning with the assumption that it was a surname in her family--and Quaker. 
I then was lucky enough to find a letter written by a family member who had grown up in the area, and was acquainted with all the families on LI; a letter written about 1910. 
The writer said Mary Fry Willis was given the name “Mary Fry”  in honor of one of her great grandmothers. 
So now I knew she had a direct ancestor with that name thus narrowing my choices. She was also descended from a Mary Fry, and the Fry family was a Quaker family, likely from Long Island. 

I was hopeful that I'd narrowed the possibilities to Quaker females on Long Island in the pre-Revolutionary War period who named Mary Fry.
Indeed, I found only 1 Mary Fry (or Frey) from the colonial era:

• Mary Fry Willis’ great-great grandmother was Mary Fry (1712-1800). She married Samuel Willis & MFW's great-great grandfather (1704-1782) Their son was:

•  Mary Fry Willis’ great grandfather was John Willis (1734-1789). His son was:

• Mary Fry Willis’ grandfather was Samuel Willis (1759-1838). His son was:

• Mary Fry Willis’ father was John Willis (1790-1864)

So, Mary Fry Willis was named for her great-great grandmother, Mary Fry who was born in December 1712 in Westbury, NY and died May 28, 1800.

 
Joining Families: Mary Fry & Samuel Willis to Phebe Willets & Adam Mott

• Fry/Willis/Willets/Mott 

Quakers were inclined to join families.  

For example, the Fry/Willis/Willets/Mott families became intertwined in one generation when three of Mary Fry & Samuel Willis’ children married three of Phebe Willets (of Post #22 and Post #23) & Adam Mott’s children.

Back to Mary Fry Wills: Her Parents and Grandparents:
 ~Mary Fry Willis’ Mother 
 Her mother was Mary W Kirby, born July 30 1791 and died June 28 1873. 

~Mary Fry Willis' Maternal Grandparents [Mary W Kirby’s parents]: 

• Her maternal grandfather was Jacob Kirby (11 Aug 1765- 3 Dec 1859/recorded as January 1860) and maternal grandmother was Mary Seaman, b 27 Mar 1774 and died 21 Sep 1854.

 ~Mary Fry Willis’ Father 
Her father was John Willis (some of his line Post # 20), born in Oyster Bay on January 2 1790 and died October 5 1864 in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. I have a photo of John Willis, Mary Fry’s Willis’ father which, if it is labeled accurately, must have been shortly before his death in 1864. 

John Willis - H of Mary W Kirby, Farther of Mary Fry Willis c1860

~Mary Fry Willis’ Paternal Grandparents [John Willis’ parents]: 

• Her paternal grandfather was Samuel Willis, born March 7 1759 and died June 28 1838, (also the son of John Willis & Elizabeth Mott - mentioned in the Willis/Mott Sibling Marriages earlier). And, her paternal grandmother was Rachel Pearsall, born June 14 1765 and died May 31, 1855. She was the daughter Thomas Pearsall (1725-1807) and Ann Williams (1733-1806).

Mary Fry Willis' Family: 
Mary Fry Willis’ Siblings, The children of John Willis & Mary W Kirby:
1-Edward John Willis - 1814-1904
2-Mary Fry Willis - 1817-1898 (Married Isaac Hicks, brother of Samuel Hicks)
3-Rachel Willis - 1820-1905 (Married Samuel Hicks, brother of Isaac Hicks)
4-Lucretia Mott Willis  1837-1838
 
Marriage & Family:
Mary Fry Willis was 19 when she married the Isaac Hicks (subject of Post #29). They wed March 24, 1836 on probably in Jericho Meeting, Long Island, NY. 

Isaac Hicks was 21 years old when she married him. They lived on Long Island the rest of their lives while Isaac commenced his nursery business (see more in Post #29). 

Mary Fry Willis & Isaac Hicks' children:
  1-Gilbert (1838-1922)
  2- Edward (1840-1915)
* 3-Marianna (1842-1920)
  4-William C. (1845-1846)
 *Marianna, my great- great grandmother, married William E Hauxhurst/Hawxhurst.

Residence and Death:
I would imagine that Mary Fry would have been quite busy as Isaac was tending to building up the Hicks Nursery. They lived in Old Westbury on Long Island, NY.

Census records exist for Isaac and Mary Fry Willis for the  years 1850 (33 years old), 1870 (53 years old), 1880 (63 years old). I haven't yet unearthed the state census for the 1890s.
 She died on Long Island at 81 on February 28, 1898 and is buried in Westbury, Nassau County, New York.
 

Hicks homestead from a Christmas Card c1960

Photos and Miscellaneous Comments
Of the photos I have, they were taken when she was rather old. Her granddaughter, Bertha C Hawxhurst had saved most of the ones I have. 

Bertha, who grew up on Long Island and knew her grandmother, wrote on the back of this one a comment:
“Grandmother Hicks-very precise, neat --and stern!” 

Mary Fry Willis W Isaac Hicks c 1878-1880

Of Mary Fry Willis' siblings listed above, I bolded her sister Rachel Willis to draw attention to the fact that Rachel wed Isaac Hicks' brother, Samuel Hicks.

Below is a garden photo of Hicks & Willis relations. 
I own a (separate) labeled photo of Rachel Willis Hicks, so I'm certain she's the middle-aged woman (wearing glasses) looking at the camera. 
Seated near her is likely (but I'm not sure) Rachel’s husband (and Isaac’s brother), Samuel Hicks. The young lady on the left might be Rachel and Samuel’s unmarried daughter Anna.
Seated on far right is Isaac Hicks and Mary Fry Willis (Hicks).

Hicks/Willis Family Members: in center, Rachel Willis Hicks & maybe Samuel Hicks.                                   Far Right: Isaac Hicks & Mary Fry Willis

The photo below is of the Isaac and Mary Fry Willis (Hicks) when they were quite elderly. It was probably shortly before she died. 

Mary Fry Willis and Isaac Hicks late 1890s

#12 - Phebe Willets Frees Her Slave before Rev War: Westbury, NY & Gets Other Quakers to Free Theirs!

My mother (the descendant this Phebe Willets) made it clear to us all from our youngest days that all people are of equal value. I did not know that there was a racism problem in this country until I heard about it on radio.  Both my parents set a good example for us and their children imitate what their parents embrace (and, by extension, the culture will be affected).

These ancestors had embraced ideas regarding people’s equality first on religious grounds, and some of them paid heavily for it. 

In this ancestral line some fought the Civil War for the Union, others were engaged in helping escaped slaves make it to safely to the North, and others spearheaded the first manumissions in New York.

Phebe Willets, my 7th great grandmother, was born in 1699 a Quaker home. Phebe became Quaker preacher and traveled and preached. She is the subject of Post #22 on this blog (with regard to her preaching).
Eventually, she married first at 32, a much older man, Adam Mott. They had three children, including my 6th great grandmother Elizabeth Mott. After Adam died, she married widower Tristam Dodge (she was in her 40s). She died in her 83rd year.
I find scattered references to Phebe Willets Dodge (or Phebe Willets Mott Dodge) in history books now and then. They usually say something like this:
 

However, what this doesn’t reveal is that she actually began the ball rolling at Old Westbury Meeting: beginning with her, the Friends at Meeting eventually manumitted all their slaves. This wasn't as light a matter as it sounds: people often found they had serious financial loss when they manumitted a slave. Long Islanders needed manpower to get jobs done: if you pay someone it makes a dent in your pocketbook. 

In 1939, Marietta Hicks (the niece of my great-great-great grandmother Marianna Hicks) turned over the original manumission papers which were witnessed (or "affirmed") at Old Westbury Meeting to {name?} someone for safekeeping.
 
The papers were transcribed, and someone eventually copied them, and we now have digital versions of these papers. (Though only some of the originals are available).
 
The typical wording of the manumission paper was similar to Elias Hicks’ and it went this way:
 

However, Phebe Willets (Dodge) was the first person in Old Westbury to manumit her slave. 

In contrast to the others, Phebe’s commitment to her faith rings out in her manumission paper: it was a cause based in her faith, not a statement for the Meeting.  Her conscience provoked her sense of obligation, and her ethics derived from that, not the other way around.  By this time, she was elderly,  she had nothing to gain, yet she felt it unChristian to keep another person as a slave.

Her manumission has a distinctly different tone to it (as its transcription shows). 
Phebe had been considering this issue for "some years" and it was a concern. It was her "duty as a ..Christian act to set her at Liberty." ["her" is Rachel, a slave her 2nd husband had left her when he died]

I would guess since she had been a Quaker preacher of some notoriety, she probably also urged others passionately (along with several other Friends who felt similarly, such as Elias Hicks) to do the same, and to stimulate the Friends in Meeting on this.  
Indeed, by the end of the Revolutionary War Old Westbury Meeting had manumitted all their slaves.
But what is striking to me--having lived in other cultures--is that the faith was proactive in its goodness.
--------------------------------------
Below find the transcribed manumissions--there might be an ancestor of interest in here:

 

Richard Willits manumits Jean, affirmed by Elias Hicks and William Valentine, of one several originals left.

#11 - Phebe Willets (Mott) (Dodge)- Female Preacher when before Women were Equal - part 1 of 2

Phebe Willets, Female  Preacher Before Women were Equal (part 1/2)

I almost missed this ancestor because I made the mistake of focusing on the male names.
Beginning with my mother's side, the first names go backwards like this: Elizabeth (my grandmother)-Bertha-Marianna-Mary-John-Samuel-Elizabeth-Phebe Willets (Mott) (Dodge). Or, the visual:
  
Phebe Willets was born in 1699, and died in 1782 in her 83rd year, having lived through the transition from Dutch to English control of New York, the French & Indian War, and dying right before the end of the Revolutionary  War.

She married "late" (in her 30s) Adam Mott (who was much older) and they had 3 children [including my ancestor Elizabeth Mott]. Adam died when her youngest was a toddler. Phebe remarried (Tristam Dodge), he also predeceased her.
Long Island Quakers began meeting before Penn's: about 25 years before William Penn's settlement in Pennsylvania & about 20 years before Burlington, New Jersey in 1657.

By the late 1600s, when Phebe Willets was born, there were more Friends Meetings (Quaker equivalent of churches) in Queens County-which then included some towns also in what is now Nassau County-than Presbyterian, Dutch Reformed or Anglican churches. 

Not only that, but the Quakers exerted influence that was disproportionate to their numbers, and their influence lasted into the early 1800s. 

Quakers were especially noted for recognizing women as equal and valued members. They spearheaded much of what we call Gender Equality. 

From what I have read, the Quaker values, heritage and ways of thinking and behavior, helped give women the strength to organize for female suffrage.   Did you know that at the First Woman's Rights Convention in Seneca Falls, NY in 1848, the main organizers were Quakers or former Quaker--except one (Elizabeth Cady Stanton)? [They were: Lucretia Mott, Mary Ann M'Clintock, Jane Hunt=Quakers; Martha Coffin Wright=Quaker,but disowned for marrying out of unity; and the non-Quaker=Elizabeth Cady Stanton].

Women & Preaching
Even today, the recognizable names of ministers and preachers are usually males.  Most denominations don’t recognize women as leaders in the church (called ordination). 

The Society of Friends began differently. Since the beginning of Quakerism in the 1600s, starting with Margaret (Askew) Fell of England  (who wrote the book,“Women’s Speaking Justified: a Scripture-Based Argument for Women’s Ministry”) women in Quakerism were preachers. I guess that set the pace.
"They practiced greater equality for women centuries before most other religious groups--women Quaker ministers and missionaries came to Long Island, and women ministers from Long Island traveled to preach and exhort."(Women in Long Island's Past: A History of Eminent Ladies and Everyday Lives, by Natalie A Naylor).

This, at a time when women didn't vote or even speak in public meetings. And they DID NOT PREACH.
Quakers in the American colonies recognized many “official preachers” (for more, see Daughters of Light by Rebecca Larson, and Strangers & Pilgrims-Female Preaching in America by Catherine A Brekus).
A preacher was distinct from being moved to speak in a typical Quaker meeting where either sex may speak--preachers were specially recognized:

Explanation from Carol Faulkner

Phebe Willets stood out to me because she was recognized by her Long Island Meeting as a preacher. Phebe not only preached, but she traveled and preached. That suggests she was in some kind of demand by other meetings.

Before you think Phebe was speaking about gender equality, think again. All preachers were recognized as having a special gift which was rooted in faith, not in the outcomes of the faith. Gender equality was an outcome of their faith.

"their vindication of women’s right to preach was always secondary to their faith in biblical revelation. 
They were biblical rather than secular feminists and based their claims of female equality on the grounds of scriptural revelation. 
Female preachers were too conservative in their theology for women’s rights activists but too radical to be remembered by evangelicals.”  (Strangers and Pilgrims - Female Preachers in America by Catherine A Brekus)

Phebe Willets, it seems, was one of those women ministers. She expanded her field when she traveled as companion minister with Susanna Morris and Mary Weston in 1752 -1753 to meetings in England.

Knowing Quakerism & a bit of Quaker history, I agree with Larson when she asserts that female freedoms helped to bolster the hand of women involved in the nascent women's rights movements:

From "Daughters of Light" by Rebecca Larson

This post is Part 1 of 2 about her because Phebe will appear in the follwing post for (once again) setting the pace for her fellow Quakers--and they set pace for New York at the time. 

Phebe Willets Mott or Phebe Willets Dodge appears over and over histories of the 1700s, I am so glad I followed this line. I'll have to continue to keep an eye on other my female lines now and then!

from appendix of female preachers "Daughters of Light" by Larson